summertime goals

...because I'm more likely to work towards them if I post them publicly on the internet.

(currently enjoying jaydiohead)

Summer 2010 Goal 1!

I really want to learn the Single Ladies dance. I'm obsessed with the video. I watched it four times today. I don't get tired of it, and can't fathom a situation where I wouldn't rather be watching it.

That's a bold-faced lie, but still.

The problem is, everytime I watch it, I watch it with the intention of learning the dance. Then I stand up and try to follow along and immediately feel like a freaking idiot. My hips don't work like Beyonce's. I can't even do the first 8-count and look like a sane, attractive person, much less the part where she does that crazy thing with her vag and ends up on one knee. Who even thought that up?

Moreover, there are parts where Beyonce herself looks like a spaz. Granted, she can pull it off because she's awesome.

One last thing about Single Ladies...if these male ballet dancers in full costume for Don Quixote can do it, so can I. Right? RIGHT?



Not gonna lie, going on youtube to get the code for that video led to a sizeable amount of my time being spent watching Alex Wong of Miami City Ballet's other posted videos. I need a hobby, which brings me to:

Summer 2010 Goal 2!
Everyone here has cool hobbies. I want to know how to do stuff. Right now the only hobbies I indulge in are crossword puzzles and doodling my own wallpaper. LAME. I want to know how to knit, or something. Then again, if I'm going to take up a new hobby, it should be something radically new, right? RIGHT? Like...I should learn how to eat fire.

Summer 2010 Goal 3!
Give up caffeine. KIDDING. lmaozzzomg I had six cups of coffee today.

Summer 2010 Goal 4!
Wash clothes as often as possible. Washing clothes is super-fun now because I was recently enlightened. Don't use your hands, sillies. Use your feet! After soaking laundry in soapy water for an hour or so, break out the iPod, put on a sweet song and start stomping. It makes me feel like Lucy Ricardo and also brings back pleasant memories of my old job as an office manager.

What's that, you say?

In my last weeks on the job, I started cleaning out a storage room with files dating back to the Great Society. I ended up spending at least four hours a day (completely made-up estimate) shredding paper, then maximizing recycling bin space by jumping in the bin to pack down paper. Man I loved working there.

Summer 2010 Goal 5!
Get the hell out of my town more often. I have never been south of Azilal province, and that sickens me. I don't even have a good reason. I want to go out east this summer and then at some point see Marrakech FINALLY.

Summer 2010 Goal 6!
Survive Ramadan. I'm going to fast! Somewhere my mom is getting stressed out at the mere memory of what life was like for her when I hadn't eaten for like 90 minutes. Sure, my metabolism has settled down since high school, but I still tend to eat...healthy portions...so Ramadan is going to be a character-building experience, fo shiz.

I think 6 is good, yeah?