"Oh God, you are so American."

Comin to you from a cyber cafe

Moroccans are typically indirect whereas Americans tend to be more direct. Blah blah blah, cultural diversity. But what are you supposed to do when you try both tactics and neither work very well for you?

Par example. One of the downsides of being young and unmarried (and better-than-fine with that) in a conservative Moroccan town is that people tend to try to court you. Due to the culture, this can't be done outright and thus woo-ing attempts tend to be on the creepy side.

I currently have two problematic, unwanted suitors. When the first invited me to have lunch with his mother, warning bells started ringing in my ears and I reacted immediately by saying "No thanks, I'm not comfortable with that." Maybe a little too direct (when telling a friend about it later, he looked a litte shocked and uttered the quote serving as the title for this post) but hey, it was the truth.

As you may have guessed, unfortunately this approach didn't work very well and the guy is still hanging around Dar Chabab.

With the other guy I decided to try a more passive-aggressive approach. In this case, I am deaing with a creep who comes to my house bearing gifts. He did it once like five minutes after I had returned home from Rabat and it was totally weird: he'd obviously been waiting by his window to see me walk up the hill and go in my house. Wanting to cease encouragement of this behavior, I decided to take action. Last night about ten minutes after getting home from work there was a knock on the door. I let it go unanswered, not even trying to pretend like I wasn't home. I left my music on, lights on, everything. The guy knocked three times. THREE. And then called my name a few times. He finally left and I thought "That'll show him."

Of course, it seems once again I'm the one that needs to be shown. Thirty minutes later he came BACK. Same story--he knocked, I went about my normal business, he continued knocking and proving that an indirect, passive-aggressive approach is apparently ALSO not the way to deal with this.

So what the hell am I supposed to do? The other thing that's annoying about this is it's not like I'm walking around in a bathing suit with an inch of make up on all day every day. Most of the time my hair is dirty, I'm wearing glasses and my clothes are on the baggy side. it was suggested I start drawing warts on my face.

Moving on... earlier in this post I used the phrase "better-than-fine" and now I have the song "Better Than Fine" by Fiona Apple stuck in my head. It's a really nice song, uncharacteristically optimistic and, another rarity, in 3/4 time. Who doesn't love a nice waltz? Here's my favorite part:

If you don't have a point to make
Don't sweat it
You make a fine one
Bein' so kind
And I sure appreciate it

Everyone else's goal's to be
Big-headed
Why should I follow that beat bein' that I'm
Better than fine

Ooowaoowaooooo